The 5 Second Rule Summary | Mel Robbins (2024)

Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage

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Introduction

The 5 Second Rule is a self-help book written by Mel Robbins, published in 2017. The book focuses on the idea of using a simple technique, the “5-second rule,” to overcome procrastination and take action towards one’s goals.

The author explains how she was going through a difficult time in her life, feeling overwhelmed and stuck in a rut of procrastination. She came across a TED Talk on the science of willpower and learned about the concept of a “cue-routine-reward” loop. She realized that the key to overcoming procrastination was to take action within 5 seconds of having an impulse to do something, before the “cue” (the impulse) had a chance to fade away.

Mel Robbins begins to put this into practice and sees immediate results. She was able to overcome her procrastination, regain control of her life, and achieve her goals. She shares that the 5 Second Rule is a simple yet powerful tool that anyone can use.

The 5 Second Rule is a countdown to taking action. It helps in taking control of your mind and breaking the pattern of overthinking and self-doubt. It also helps in transforming bad habits into good ones and taking back control of their lives.

About Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins is a motivational speaker, television personality, and author. She is best known for her TEDx talk “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over,” which has been viewed over 30 million times.

Robbins has written several books, including “The 5 Second Rule” and “Stop Saying You’re Fine.” She also hosts a daily talk show, “The Mel Robbins Show,” and has appeared as a commentator on CNN.

In her work, Robbins uses personal anecdotes and research to discuss topics such as personal growth, motivation, and overcoming obstacles.

StoryShot #1: The Science of the 5 Second Rule

The 5-second rule is based on the idea that the impulse to take action on a goal or decision can fade within seconds if not acted upon. Our brains are wired to resist change and cling to the familiar. The 5-second rule helps to overcome this tendency by using the momentum of the initial impulse to take action.

The 5-second rule works by counting down 5-4-3-2-1, creating a sense of urgency that helps to overcome procrastination and take action.

Cue-Routine-Reward

The concept of the “cue-routine-reward” loop describes how our brains process habits, which is important to understand in order for the 5-second rule to work. It’s important to understand this concept for the 5-second rule to work. The three parts of the loop are:

1. Cue: This is the trigger or the stimulus that initiates a behavior or action. It can be an internal or external trigger, such as a feeling, an event, a time of day, or a specific location.
2. Routine: This is the behavior or action that is performed in response to the cue. It can be a physical action, a thought, or an emotional response.
3. Reward: This is the positive outcome or benefit that reinforces the behavior or action. It can be something tangible, like a treat, or something more abstract, like a feeling of accomplishment or pleasure.

The cue-routine-reward loop creates a feedback mechanism that the brain uses to learn and reinforce habits. Each time the brain recognizes a cue and performs the associated routine, it is rewarded with a positive outcome. The more this loop is repeated, the stronger the habit becomes.

StoryShot #2: Using Metacognition to Overcome Fear, Doubt, and Procrastination

The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must count down 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.

• Using the Rule is simple. Whenever you feel an instinct fire up to act on a goal or a commitment, or the moment you feel that yourself hesitate on doing something and you know you should do, use the Rule.
• Start by counting backward to yourself: 5-4-3-2-1. The counting will help you focus on the goal or commitment and distract you from the worries, thoughts, and fears in your mind. As soon as you reach “1,” move. That’s it.
• The Rule will work every time you use it. But you have to use it. It is a tool. If you stop using it, fear and uncertainty will creep back in and take control of your decisions. If that happens, just start using the Rule again.
• Physical movement is the most important part of my Rule, too, because when you move your physiology changes and your mind follows.

The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.

Metacognition, by the way, is just a fancy word for any technique that allows you to beat your brain in order to accomplish your greater goals.

As you use the Rule over time, you’ll experience a shift inside yourself that is much deeper, a transformation that impacts confidence and inner strength.

You will come face to face with the excuses, habits, feelings, insecurities, and fears that have haunted you for years.

Application Ideas

• Speaking in a meeting
• Staying positive
• Making a decision
• Finding time for yourself
• Asking for feedback
• Raising your hand
• Asking for a raise
• Ending self-doubt
• Working on your résumé
• Sticking to your plan
• Leaving the house
• Volunteering to go first
• Talking to someone you find attractive
• Stepping on a dance floor
• Publishing your work
• Getting to the gym
• Eating in moderation
• Saying “no”
• Asking for help
• Letting your guard down
• Admitting you are wrong
• Listening

Over time, as you repeat the Rule, you destroy that system altogether.

One thing most of us don’t realize is that patterns of thinking like worrying, self-doubt, and fear are all just habits—and you repeat these thought patterns without even realizing it.

StoryShot #3: Count Down from Five and Break a Bad Habit

When you silently count down from five, your brain knows something needs to happen after one; it’s the universal cue to act.

And when you take a deliberate action immediately after counting down you generate the joy of feeling in control.

According to psychologists, the ‘Golden Rule of Habits’ says to change a bad habit you must replace it with a different habit. Every habit has three parts: cue, routine, and reward. When you silently countdown from five (cue), take a small positive action (routine), and get a pleasurable feeling of control (reward), you’ve created a new habit loop.

Here are a few ways you can use a five‐second action habit to overwrite a bad habit:

• If you want to break a bad habit of drinking wine before bed, notice yourself reaching for the bottle of wine at night and then silently say to yourself “five, four, three, two, one,” and put the bottle back of the cupboard.
• If you have a habit of getting angry at people, notice the anger and then silently say “five, four, three, two, one,” and think of three people you’re grateful for.
• If you have a habit of getting nervous before a performance, notice your anxiety and silently say to yourself “five, four, three, two, one…I’m excited!”

StoryShot #4: Courage

It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.

Everyday life is full of moments that are scary, uncertain, and difficult.

Facing these moments and unlocking the opportunity, magic, and joy in your life requires tremendous courage.

Courage teaches us all that it’s not the big moves that change everything—it’s the smallest ones in your everyday life that do

We waste so much of our lives waiting for the right time to have the conversation, ask for the raise, bring it up, or start things.

It reminds me of that famous Wayne Gretzky quote: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Here’s the thing—you never regret the shots you do take but you always regret holding back.

Legendary psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi applied this concept to human behavior, blaming activation energy as one of the reasons why making a change is so hard.

He defines activation energy as that “initial huge push of energy that’s required to change”—whether it’s to get a stalled car to move forward or yourself out of a warm bed in the morning.

Confidence

• A big mistake people make is thinking that confidence is a matter of personality. Confidence just means that you believe in yourself, your ideas, and your capabilities. Anyone can learn how to become more confident. It’s not a personality trait. It’s a skill.
• Confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage.

A good life is made up of small steps—“making tough decisions,” “being able to say no,” even “getting out of bed and taking the dogs out” just because you said you would—they may be little steps in “learning to trust” yourself, but they are the most “exhilarating” moves that you can make for your confidence.

Sometimes there is no next time, no second chance, or no time out. Stop waiting. It’s now or never. When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating.

You are doing something more dangerous. You are deliberately convincing yourself “now is not the time.” You are actively working against your dreams.

StoryShot #5: Two Kinds of Procrastination

Productive Procrastination

If you are working on a creative project or an innovative idea, research shows that procrastination is not only good, but it is also important. The creative process takes time, so when you set a project aside for a few days or weeks, your mind can wander.

That extra time spent on mental wandering gives you the ability to come up with more creative, “divergent” ideas that enhance your project.

Destructive Procrastination

Destructive procrastination is an entirely different animal. It’s when we avoid the work we need to get done and know there will be negative consequences. This habit really comes back to bite you in the end.

StoryShot #6: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Make Progress

“When you set a goal, your brain opens up a task list. Whenever you are near things that can help you achieve those goals, your brain fires up your instincts to signal to get that goal completed. Let me give you an example. Let’s say you have a goal to get healthier. If you walk into a living room, nothing happens. If you walk past a gym, however, your prefrontal cortex (front part of your brain) lights up because you are near something related to getting healthier. As you pass the gym, you’ll feel like you should exercise. That’s an instinct reminding you of the goal. That’s your inner wisdom, and it’s important to pay attention to it, no matter how small or silly that instinct may seem.”

– Mel Robbins

Here are a few ways you can immediately start acting on your inner wisdom:

• When you’re lying in bed in the morning and you know you should get up and work on your business idea, act on your inner wisdom and start counting down, “five, four, three, two, one,” and then get out of bed and walk to your desk.
• When you’re in the office and have the feeling that you should stop checking email and start writing that proposal or presentation, act on your inner wisdom and start the countdown, “five, four, three, two, one.” Then close the email application and start writing.
• At night, when you’re about to watch new episodes on Netflix and get the feeling that you should turn off the TV so that you can get a good night’s sleep and be more productive tomorrow, listen to that inner wisdom. “Five, four, three, two, one,” and then get your butt in bed.

Final Summary and Review

The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins, is a self-help book that aims to help readers overcome procrastination and take action towards their goals. The book is based on the idea that the impulse to take action on a goal or decision can fade within seconds if not acted upon. Our brains are wired to resist change and cling to the familiar.

The book’s main concept is the 5-second rule, which works by counting down 5-4-3-2-1 and creating a sense of urgency that helps to overcome procrastination and take action. It explains the concept of the “cue-routine-reward” loop, which describes how our brains process habits, in order for the 5-second rule to work.

Mel Robbins also explains how metacognition, or techniques that allow you to beat your brain to accomplish your greater goals, can be applied using the 5-second rule. Physical movement is a key element of the 5-second rule. Movement helps to change the physiology of the brain and follow the mind.

The book presents different scenarios and situations where the 5-second rule can be applied, such as: speaking in a meeting, making a decision, asking for help, leaving the house, and many others. It provides a comprehensive program that helps individuals to understand how to change bad habits, by repeatedly using the 5-second rule.

The 5 Second Rule offers practical and simple, but powerful tools that can help people overcome procrastination.

Rating

We rate Mel Robbins’ book 3.9/5.

How would you rate The 5 Second Rule based on this summary?

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